1. Balancing work and home life
It’s not easy balancing your work and home life ,
but how you manage it can make quite a difference
to your relationship with your family. Having a
balance between work and home – being able to
work in a way which fits around family
commitments and isn't restricted to the 9 to 5 –
boosts self-esteem as you're not always worrying
about neglecting your responsibilities in any area,
making you feel more in control of your life. Your
family will be happier to see more of you, and you'll
have a life away from home.
2. Look after yourself
Parents often spend all their time looking after
everyone else in the family and forget about
themselves. If you don’t look after yourself, you
can end up feeling miserable and resentful, and you
won’t be able to give your children the support
they need. Admit to yourself that you actually have
feelings and needs of your own. It’s not selfish to
treat yourself once in a while! It doesn't have to be
expensive - but putting aside some time to do just
what YOU want to do, even if it's only 10 minutes a
day - is so important.
Rather than thinking of discipline as a punishment,
you should use it as a way of teaching your
children how to meet their needs without hurting or
offending anyone. While you may be angry, it can
help to keep calm and teach your child how he or
she could have handled the situation differently,
and how he or she can go about it differently next
time. This way is both more positive and more
constructive.
4.Setting Boundaries
We often use boundaries to protect children from
harm or danger. But it is important that you try to
explain why boundaries are there, rather than
issuing orders – for instance, if you pull them away
from an open fire explain why. Children may be
reluctant to follow instructions if parents command
them. However, an explanation as to why the
instructions are important will help your child
understand, and therefore cooperate.
5. Communication
Communication is important – during both the good
and the tough times. Children often find it hard to
put their feelings into words and just knowing that
their parents are listening can be enough. Talk
about yourself – not just about your problems but
about your daily life. If they feel included in the
things you do they are more likely to see the value
of including you in the things they do.
6. Quality Time
Try to organise some time together as a family a
few times a week – perhaps three meals a week
you could sit down to eat as a family. This will give
you all a chance to connect and talk about the
important issues, as well as the more fun topics.
Ask your children to help you with the chores or to
run errands. They may protest but they will feel
included in your life rather than being an outsider.
7. Joint Decisions
With older children, it is normal for them to test the
limits of boundaries to see what they can get away
with. You may need to adapt boundaries as
children grow into teens – it can even help to
involve your child in the negotiation of new
boundaries. Too many restrictions will be hard to
keep on top of, so it is a good idea to work out
which boundaries are really important to you, such
as the ones for your children’s safety, and which
boundaries are not worth fighting about. With fewer
restrictions, your children will appreciate that the
boundaries you do set are serious.
8. Comforting
It is important for a family to be there for each
other through the hard times, as well as the good
times. If there is a family tragedy , or a family
member has a problem, pulling together can really
help. Your children will need your help at this time,
and it is important to be open and communicate
with them. They will need reassurance and
explanation, and will react differently depending on
their ages. It can also help to talk to someone
impartial.
9. Be flexible
More than anything, children just want to spend
time with their parents. It can be lots of fun to
make time for an impromptu game or an
unscheduled trip to the park, as well as being
something that you and your children will remember
fondly. It’s good to have a routine, but it’s not the
end of the world if it’s interrupted from time to
time for spontaneous fun and games. For busy
families, it can be useful to schedule in a few
hours every now and then for a lazy afternoon
together.
10. Spend quality time with your partner
It can be difficult to find time for you and your
partner once you have children, but it is important
to make time for each other. After all, children
learn about relationships from their parents. Make
sure you communicate with them frequently about
all the day to day matters, as well as just things
you enjoy talking about. Try to organise time that
you can spend with each other, whether it’s going
out for a meal, or just relaxing in front of the TV
together.
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